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Blasphemy


Friday, February 25, 2005

Re: Jerry Springer - The Opera (blasphemy accusations). Firstly blasphemy can surely only be "committed" by a "believer"? Secondly surely blasphemy can only be outlawed in a theocracy. I have no intention of ever seeing JS - Opera as niether it nor the JS show float my boat, so to speak, however religious fundamentalism (hey isn't it against the law to threaten people with violence in this country?) is becoming rather scary in England when it is openly justifying it's dubious methods by stating that 'if it's ok for foreign religions to be 'up-in-arms' (lol) then it's our duty to be christian soldiers'. STOP - PRESS - christian fundmentalists cause a cancer charity to turn down a donation by threatening a 'donation boycott' and smear campaign by christians. I find this scary and even more so that these folk are not being prosecuted in the same way as pro-lifers are not persecuted as the terrorists they are (see attacks and threats in US and probably UK). IMHO if animal rights extremists are legislated against (recently in UK) and Islamic extremists (couple of years back and again this week) then surely the common denominator is threat of/actual violence to person/persons justified by extreme views. Surely it then follows that all extreme groups should be subject to the same sanctions rather than piecemeal legislation based (biased) on the respective ideology's current social acceptability and political expedience?
On a similar tack, there exist countless divisions, subdivisions ad-infinitum of christianity and other religions, therefore I find it offensive that extremists 'tar with the same brush' the majority of 'adherents/believers' with differing views/moral codes beneath the broad umbrella of a major, organised religion.
(Re: comedy. All comedy is offensive, probably every point of view is offensive... to someone. Look at political correctness. Thank goodness it's dying a death cuz coloured was the vogue once, then it was black; and what about loony, nutter, psycho, mad etc.)

To me, organised religion is summed up by the fact that it is the most narrow minded, contradictory belief system, period (as the US types say). For instance, on a radio4 show there was a debate on evil and whether it exists. Some christian guy in one breath stated that god created everything, then later that god created all the good stuff. Well I seem to recall that he created everything (according to that book they venerate), which therefore includes the "serpent" and ipso facto the temptation. Surely this god character is abdigating his responsibility for an imperfect creation?

Following this train of thought it would appear that christians are "apologetics" (to use the current parlance of GW Bush). While we are on that tack, surely what we are seeing are modern day "crusades", slaughtering the heathen hoards. The US appears to be heading towards theocracy, or maybe a new term should be coined (you heard it here first!) a democratic theocracy, if that isn't an oxymoron. In any case, a reductionist could argue that one theocracy is judging (bible tells us that man cannot/should not judge a fellow human) another theocracy. Come to think of it, there is a whole lot of smiting taking place in the torah which I kinda thought went against those commandment thingummies... anyhow, the "evil" thing: as a secular guy proffered on radio4 the existence of evil is dependent upon whether you see it as a noun or an adjective. Succinct I think. Ok, enough of the rant.

I remain a useless lump, existing with suicidal ideation and keeping myself alive with that "guilt trip" thing regarding effect on others. i know that sounds rough, but it's the way I see it. One comforting thing remains the research and provisional planning of my exit. Having made one serious attempt in the early 90's I am aware of the uncertainties, pain and likelihood of recovery with a degree of physical and mental impairment.

Anyhow, thanks to everyone for keeping in touch despite my reclusive tendencies. I do appreciate you all.

2005 snogs


posted by Andy 12:21

Why do people lie?


Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Estate agents, security gaurds, politicians, bar staff... most of all estate agents. When GF has visited recently we've used the emergency exit/disabled access that estate agent lied about "doesn't exist/nothing to do with your building". On Sunday the lifts were turned off in shopping centre (access to coach station), when I complained to manager her underling lied that they had been turned on. Bunch of wankers. Anyhow...
Obviously I'm still around. Had visit from boss last Friday which was good, he's a nice guy, honest! Haven't self harmed this week really but still not going out on my own. Today I got out at 2pm, after an effort, in order to look into housing benefit etc etc, cuz as I'm only getting signed off intermittently I haven't claimed anything and am way out of touch as regards the benefits system. Problem is (apart from £10k credit card debt and no savings), that I've had so much sick leave that every time I am signed off for a couple of weeks/month or whatever, I get half my salary e.g. £621 this month, with rent of £450, leccy, council tax etc etc etc. Well I went to the Council and was directed to Money and housing Advice, who directed me to Welfare Rights... you get the picture! Oddly the Borough Council place is called a "One Stop shop" (christ I hate that cliche) so how come I have to go to two other places? Shit. It took me days on end to get out of the flat and visit just one of these places, so how the fuck is this helpful?
Enough of the moaning already and on to the news...
Ex GF Jan is preggers, GF's twin is preggers, Dani's cousin(?) Galia is getting hitched, mother is having knee replaced 7th/8th March, my huge groinal boil exploded Tuesday morning (roll on the next one), made pancakes for first time since being in psycho-rehab 10 years ago last weekend (valentines/romantic thing, with cream and strawberries, Champers and a sleeping GF (?), yup!!! :o/ ). Guilty about missing birthdays and not being able to send all the Sonic Hospital cd's folk have requested without a huge cash injection.
Still focussing anger and frustration on RKS (orange, supercillious, cheating, self-opinionated spawn of the devil) which provides a modicum of light relief.
Any advice on employment/benefits/debt issues much appreciated.

2005 snogs


posted by Andy 16:37

Special "Kilroy Veritas" Edition!


Saturday, February 05, 2005

All you need to know about Kilroy and Veritas...

2005 snogs



posted by Andy 20:13

Still Alive


Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Yup, I'm still in the land of the existing. Finally went to see the quack and now have Temazepam on top of the 300mg Venlafaxine. Also referred back "into the system". Thanks to those who care and/or miss me/appreciate me, including GF, Dani, Carla, Clairabell, Elise, Kathy, Vale, et al.
Still not at work - will probably get the elbow/redundancy sometime. Dunno. Don't look into the future, just get through the day. Maybe it's best not to concentrate on oneself?
Some minor self-harm been going on, no cutting, just cigarette burns... and roll-ups at that! lol!!! Gives that "control" buzz and is less severe/scary for others I guess. Just a little cooking of the epidermis, is all.
Indebted to GF for not judging, just accepting and generally giving me an escape from the world and the feeling that I can be useful/loved/etc etc if only in small ways. Think I am just up a creek without a paddle and with broken arms, lol. All those years in the 90's (most of my 20's) when I was at rock-bottom seem like my happiest times now. All the pressure seems self inflicted then and any proaction was applauded until one finally moves away from the safety net of the welfare state and care in the community, whereby one's safety is pulled and "you're on your own mate". Thinking back on things, I never really did cope that well once I was "supporting myself". Yes, of course, there were adverse and stressful occurrences and environmental factors along the way e.g. several clients dying/suiciding (poetic licence), poor management, relationship break-ups/difficulties etc etc however it seems that deep down I'm a borderline case of almost, but not quite... in terms of functionality in society. It tickles me somewhat that a Psych Consultant that I have never met stated that I had displayed a "fair level of functioning". Well in the old days of vinyl collecting, a record in "fair" condition was a scratchy old piece of shite that would just about play all the way through, with lo-fi and have a dog-eared sleeve, lol. Teehee.
On a lighter (?) note. Does anyone else want to kill Kilroy in an incredibly gory, final and violent way? The guy makes me feel dirty and defiled. He's a spoiled brat of a control freak. Never speaks his mind. (Veritas, straight talking, lol heard him avoiding all questions about what his party, and more specifically himself, stood for and believed). A slimy, smarmy, evil, supercillious, self centred bastard that should not be given the air of publicity.
Well, at least time with GF has allowed me to get angry about external issues. Hmmm... a though just occurred... perhaps in the same vein as the guys who poured shit all over Kilroy,



I should suicide bomb the fucker and do myself and the world a favour!

2005 Snogs


posted by Andy 17:56