Fur TV

Sunday, February 29, 2004

Did anyone else see Fur TV last night? It was THE funniest thing ever!!! I was deffo rotflol until my sides ached and tears rolled down my cheeks. Ok, alcohol may have enhanced my enjoyment a tad but it's a MUST see imho. For the uninitiated, it's a puppet show like nothing else. Imagine the cast of Sesame Street transported to Royston Vaysey and you'll get a flavour.

Things aren't so good for some of my chums at the moment, but I don't want to blog too much about them really. K has had her passport taken off her while police investigate the complaints against her and obviously she's really upset and frightened but hopefully no longer suicidal. Thank god that she has Dani to support her through this. Wish I knew why people can be so vindictive as to make serious allegations against someone. A worrying time.

Miss VV's grandmother passed away this morning, I just got a txt to tell me. Spookily enough I asked about her when I txted V last night. I mean why should I be thinking about someone else's grandma that I've never even seen a picture of? Weird. Anyway, best wishes to V and her family.

and now for something completely different...

I ought to say that when I was VERY young I thought I was trapped inside a woman's body... amazingly that all changed after I was born.

Another thing I recall is my imaginary friend. They went everywhere with me... they knew what I was doing and spookily, what I was about to do!!! Oddly it all stopped when I grew up and stopped going to church =)

hehehe

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 11:12

In the land of the living...

Thursday, February 26, 2004

ok so I'm here, in the land of the living, despite the suicidal tendencies! Darn antidepressants.

Surely this has happened to you before? If not, why not!?!?! It deffo happened to me a few years back, lol. btw a pensioner guy was locked in a public toilet last week, lol, cuz the attendants forgot to check the cubicles before going home. teehee. Now worse than that is sleeping rough in Birmingham I can tell you (cuz I did it for a week once) you know, you can't take a dump for love nor money cuz all the male cubicles get locked up about 9pm! sheesh! What's a guy to do but clench?

joke: what do vegetarian cannibals eat? "I can't believe it's not buttocks" rotflol

I have no idea why I just blogged all that. So what goes on in my life eh? Well I'm back at work after last week's debacle. I've got a new shite uni assignment to do... Plus the local Social services have put my expansion back till 'phase 2' which basically means I'm stuck doing the same shite job for another 6-12 or more months =((( Mind you Northamptonshire County Council are a SHITE council.. and that's official according to the government rating system so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised.

The tart boss has communicated this wek by telling us she didn't get the RM job but (her words) "don't despair" cuz she may still get the ASM job. Fuck me! We don't give two flying fucks if she has a job or not! It's like, errr, us that we care about.

-edit- tart-boss called me about 5.30 this afternoon and I spent about 15 mins standing in freezing snow giving her succour and reassurance re. her job situation, lol. Maybe I'm too darn nice sometimes? She's deffo losing it with the stress so I guess my natural instinct is to be nice, regardless of what's gone on in the past.... "ho-hum", said Pooh...

Aaaannnyyway... if you fancy a laugh the radio version of Little Britain can be heard here. hehehe Go on, you know you want to!

2004 snogs!

posted by Andy 22:48

Andy! Phone home!

Sunday, February 22, 2004

The mother left a couple of messages on the landline end of the week so I deigned to return the call this morning. Unfortunately, evn though I get free weekend calls on my O2 Nokia 6250 (?) it's such a shite combination that I end up using the landline anyway i.e. I plug the little bleeder into the charger and dial... it rings a couple of times and commits hari-kari. fuck. I am sooo going to get a 5100 on T-Mobile soonest!
Anyhow, the mother wanted me to tell her what it means to have a elevated red blood-cell count, like I would know?! Sheesh, I'm pretty good but not THAT good. Just means there are more erithrocytes(?) andy got O-level biology y'know around to carry oxygen around the bod, right?

What a complete twonk! Hahahahah! I only found out these ahem people were called chavs yesterday as they mentioned it on Radio4, so imagine my surprise to find a link to a lets-take-the-piss-out-of-chavs site on fetish-kitten.org, teehee. btw Carla, if your lil brother really looks like that I would tell people he was either a: a pet that you are trying to house-train or b: he just follwed you home one day.

Bugger! I just poured cottage-cheese in my coffee =(((( Dontcha just hate that when the milk's off and you don't notice till it's in yer mug??? btw, is cottage cheese gay slang for pour hygiene? heheheh

STOP++PRESS++ John Cale's on Desert Island Discs today =)))

Off to do my ironing,

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 09:40

Fuck Bracelets

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Is this just a Norwegian thing? Maybe someone can enlighten me?

I'm not having the best of weeks really. Sleep patterns are fucked, motivation and confidence gone, urges to self-harm on the up (I mean more than usual). I hate blogging depressing stuff but what's the choice unless you abstain? If I abstained that'd be a retrograde step I think.

Got my wedding invite to Jan (ex) and Phil's wedding in May and it's an RSVP job. So that's good I guess.

Had a txt from Miss VV this morning. She's gone to Cesenatico to be near the funeral. Guess it's a personal thing and it appears another 40,000 people have done the same thing. Marco's family did not relish the media attention but I hope they appreciate all the love and heartfelt tributes. Just sad that this remarkable guy lost his battle with depression and the critics.

btw

Lou Reed live cd due out 23rd March =)))

Good to see that Chrissie's site is accessible again, Carla has a new layout and portal, Laura is luvved-up, Nickoli's getting around, Cindy has a horny holding page, Belle is Belle and Infinity is... unique!

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 19:23

Marco Pantani - RIP

Monday, February 16, 2004

Cycling is not a hugely popular sport in England but I feel compelled to mark the passing of this Italian legend. I only became aware of his existence on Sunday when I received an e-mail from Miss VV and did some investigation. To cut a long story short, this man was a phenomenal cyclist who excelled at climbing. Unfortunately he was suspected of taking performance enhancing drugs but was quickly cleared. Having a clear name did not help as Marco was dogged by depression and self-doubt from then on. Marco was found dead in a hotel room and the cause of death is unknown at this time. What is clear is that this man inspired and was loved by millions of Europeans, particularly my great friend Miss VV. For these reasons I salute this heroic, determined but troubled man.

Warm embraces to miss VV (I started work on that song for you)

posted by Andy 19:14

Ring of Bright Turds

Saturday, February 14, 2004

Ok, hands up who has heard of that book about otters? Ring of Bright Water???? ok, I must admit to never seeing the film or reading the book but Blue Peter and all that sort've shit were always talking about this book we should read about otters I seem to recall.

Aaaannnnnyyyyywwwwaaaayyyy. I visited the mothership last night and gathered my xmas pressies and was astounded to discover that there is a turd mystery! Apparently some mysterious beast has been defecating on my mother's lawn! Not a cat obviously, cuz theirs is thinner and more tubular and they try to hide theirs... and these are like a light clay colour and consistecy and all over the lawn! I could only imagine a fox, so what do the panel think? Unfortunately I didn't have my digi with me to take a pic and, yes, I know this sounds like a minor issue, but believe me, when yer mother hits her 70's and above... it's a biggie! So any advice welcome!

I actually enjoyed my visit for a change, maybe because no bastard called her on the phone last night! Normally I turn up and we sit down to a meal and the phone goes... then we sit down in evening to chat and... phone goes... and so it goes till her bed-time. Amazingly this time we had our tea at 7pm and chatted until gone 11pm without any interruptions! I have to say it was a nice relaxing change. Plus! I opened my xmas pressies last night! lol. Yes, they have been sitting in Coventry since mid December waiting for me to pick them up. In my defence I can only say that it's a complete bastard having to carry all your xmas pressies home on foot, bus and train, without the wrapping... let alone WITH the wrapping! So hooray for my lovely chums who sent their pressies by post! Go you! With passionate snogs!

2004 snogs to all you guys who will send me a pressie next year... ;o))))

posted by Andy 17:38

10,000 civilians killed in Iraq in past year +(

Wednesday, February 11, 2004

The above statistic is pretty scary right? Considering that GW and TB went into Iraq to save lives from WMD and to liberate the civilians from a 'nasty' regime and all that. So how come 10,000 civilians are no more as a result of our hi-tech warfare that we thought they would be soooo grateful for? It's especially crazy when one considers that this whole 'war against terror' was a reaction to the 3000 who died at the WTC in 2001. You do the maths and consider what the perspective of time will write in the annals of history about 2003.

Haven't blogged for an absolute age! Finished the uni assignment at the weekend which took a fair bit of my time and I got my marks for the last one on Monday... 65% which is pretty good. I seem to be getting the marks back up from when I was so stressed before my two months off-sick last year.

I just got home from the office at 10.15pm to find all the lights are fucked in the stairs to my apartment! So much juggling of keys in the dark while holding the mobile on my shoulder and bags in the other hand, lol. Bugger! The tart-boss came to see me today! yahoo! Fun, fun, fun! She spent over an hour telling me about splitting up from her boyfriend, the jobs she's applying for, her GP consultations etc etc etc. So much for my supervision and pre-appraisal, lol.

I'm visiting the mothership on friday! yay! First time I'vs seen the mother in the flesh since I don't know when! I'll get to pick up my xmas presents (and a couple of birthday presents) and I guess it'll be nice to see the mother. Rest of the weekend will be freeeee.... no assignment shit or on-call duties. So knowing me I'll fritter it away by getting pissed instead of getting the guitar out or whatever.

My life soooo needs some meaning

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 23:32

I'm Celibate! Let me in there!!!!

Friday, February 06, 2004

Heheheeh. I have to write this entry in reasonably perfect English so Vale doesn't spank me! ;o)))) Although... thinking about it... maybe I should lapse into colloquiallisms and shit! hheheheh. Shame John left Celebrity but I know nothing about his reasons for doing so therefore I can't comment. Suffice to say that I have no idea why these people agree to do that show apart from kick-starting their careers. Also, why all that cuffuffle (lol Miss VV) about the C word? I mean, yes it's crude but wtf did they not put a time delay on the whole thing in the first place like Big Brother? If it's reality then expect reality? Right? My feeling is that the whole show isn't what it seems... dig? Talking of TV....
Is "Mad About Alice" THE most lame-arsed sitcom in living memory? I got worried with "My Family" but this is seriously lame, verging on quadraplegic, sheesh! The classic UK sit-coms have small writing teams and character actors to fit the rolls... wtf are we going for this formulaic US shit? Where is our dignity!

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 21:43

Yamb

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Does ANYONE know how to play Yamb??? Aparently it's an old Bosnian dice game a bit like Yahtzee. Sladja plays it all the time with Ti, so I thought I'd have a go... I can't get it at all! I've searched for rules online and looked at the txt files that come with the download... nothing. My brain hurts!
I actually got to work around 7.15 today and worked a looong day entering the huge backlog of call stats I've amassed. Only a month behind now =))) On the downside most of my prospective volunteers have either been poached by the loacl private hospital or have difficult work comittments =/. On a good note, I recieved a copy of the letter sent to the head MH comissioner asking him to MAKE A DECISION AND PUT IT IN WRITING! so I can get going on recruiting paid staff and suchlike. Sorry, this must be incredibly boring for you guys!
The tart-boss is off on the sick again I found out yesterday, not surprising really what with all the shit flying round. Makes not a blind bit of difference to me really, just a bit of an annoyance. There was a rumour that she'd run of with some bloke she met in Africa... hmmm... bloody hell I'm rambling.
Anyhow, thanks to Katie, Laura, Seriya and Betty for the nice comments =)))

2004 snogs

posted by Andy 19:53

My old addictions

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

This is pretty good stuff as antidepressants go. Shame it can't sort out the underlying psychological stuff. I need some motivation, something to aim for, some sort of target to strive for. I just can't see one, y'know? So I work to get money to pay the rent, drink alcohol and eat food. Hoo-fucking-ray! Things were so much better when I was on benefits =/

Sleep is good.

snogs

posted by Andy 18:57

As good as it gets

Sunday, February 01, 2004

I LOVE that film! I didn't intend to watch it last night but I made the mistake of seeing just a snippet at the beginning while turning the VCR on and it called to me like a siren so I was completely hooked. That film just does it for me. Funny and scary (great one-liner quotes) happy and sad, evoking just about every emotion possible and due to the excellent characterisation and acting you really care about these characters, ultimately warming ones cockles =)
Had a chat to Dani last night and planned her visit a little. Now I don't make a habit of meeting online chums in person but Dani was an exception when I went to visit her last November. Second exception was Trudi coming round on Friday night, lol, but I'd chatted to her on the phone a fair bit so that was ok.
I really wanted to keep a record of the dreams I've had recently but my memory is shot to fuck, so here's just a snippet of the dreams I had just one night last week:

I was back living at home with parents and brothers
House was being refurbished
My guitar was left outside
My guitar got smashed up
That guy came round to smash my face in AGAIN (this guy has been trying to do that in my dreams all week!)
I got two video recorders from a second hand shop
I did some decorating
It was christmas
I couldn't wait for my eldest brother to leave home
I was at a team meeting at work, everyone was ignoring the boss-tart (see below)
We went out for a fag... then we were with these school kids in uniform (also smoking)
This little kid was being hit and caned by this bastard teacher so I helped the little tyke and sorted out the teacher
I was on this really long train journey
I fell in love with this foreign girl
I was working at this place I worked at in the 80's
I was invited back to this foxy colleague's home and her ex didn't approve! lol
This guy had some cash stolen in a DIY store so we had to get it back from these scary guys
There was a incredible amount of shelf-stacking!?!?
I moved back in with Shirley (an ex I lived with in Coventry)
Shirley had this well-weird neighbour, an old dear who had some odd sensory impairment which made it dangerous for her to even walk about on her own
This neighbour started mowing her lawn with an electric lawnmower.... hahaha, guess what happened? Yup! mowed through the cable rotflol

That's just a taste of what I remember from one night's dreams last week and this has been going on for weeks/months. Odd thing is that even though there is an element of scariness in some of them I actually enjoy them and think I'd rather live in that parallel dream universe where interesting things happen. Maybe that IS reality? I wonder.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2004 dreamy snogs

posted by Andy 07:15