Sunday, November 30, 2003

Swoon!

Oh yes I'm seeing J again on Wednesday, she's soooo lovely! I'm going to cook and then we're playing Scrabble. See how civilised I am, lol :o)))))))))

BTW can someone PLS write my uni assignment for me? I'll pay! pllllleeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeee!!!!!

snogs

posted by Andy 01:09

Wednesday, November 26, 2003

wooooaaaaarrrrggghhhh!!!!!

I just watched that programme on tv about parasites. I maen fair enough, a 7ft long tape worm coming out yer arse. But the penis fish? NOOOOOO!!!! Aparently if you take a piss in the river Amazon this fish can swim up yer penis and hang in their with it's barbed sides and spiky mouth whilst it eats your flesh and sucks yer blood! NOOOOOO!!!!!

Was cool to see my man Momus on the same prog, but not so cool for him to have that nasty amoebic thingy in his eye, bleagh!

Anyhow, today I gave my talk on stage at the big conference thingummy. It pissed it down with rain in London but what the hell. The venue was BT HQ near St Pauls and it's got loads of glass and security. Woo!!! I had to be wired up with one of those radio mikes that clips on and you have a bulging lumpy thing on yer arse (you've seen people on TV with these right?). anyhow, it was quite fun in the end, I didn't disgrace myself despite only writing my stuff on the train this morning, lol. I also found that I'm in print... again! There's a book about people with mental health problems doing voluntary work which was published his year. Well i had totally forgotten that I had contributed to this thing until the researcher/author grabbed me (yes, she's female, lol) and gave me a free copy today with my quotes in it. Woooo! Fame at last eh? Still glad I turned down that documentary that they wanted to make about me... but that's another story....

All in all, not such a bad day.

Snogs

posted by Andy 22:09

Tuesday, November 25, 2003

Holiday time!

I'm just back from my 24 hour holiday in Worcester, visiting Dani. I feel like shit cuz I have a cold and am tired but what the hell. I have met 60% of the Bulgarian population of Worcester! I can tell you're impressed.

Also I found out that there IS such a thing as a "free lunch". I know this because whilst killing an hour before my train was due we went into the museum and art gallery. At one end of the building there were some chairs arranged and some tables with table cloths. A woman called over to us and I found out she had been running an event for world or national (not sure) domestic abuse day, so of course immediately I struck up a conversation about mental health, domestic abuse and charities, that sort of thing. Anyhow the nice lady said we could have as much food and wine as we wanted! heheheheh. I took a "doggie bag" and had a glass of a very palatable Italian white.

STOP PRESS>>>>STOP PRESS>>>>

I am seeing the delightful J again next week, sigh, warm glow *looks at floor and makes circles with foot* :o)

Tomorrow it's the conference in London and I haven't really prepared much for it, but what the hell, as long as my cold behaves itself it'll be cool. I'm sure I'll have stage fright as usual but I'll survive. Apparently they couldn't find many other people interested so is that a good thing or a bad thing? Who knows???

Hi to Dani, Mandy and Robert the rabbit and, of course... appassionato snogs all'altro amore della mia vita... la sig.na bella VV x

Snogs

posted by Andy 19:47

Sunday, November 23, 2003

the early bird gathers no moss

Hugest congratulations to the England Rugby squad on becoming world champions yesterday! I couldn't watch it live cuz I was training some lovely new recruits all day. One of them had a text from her BF so we found out the news, but I had to wait until midnight to watch the match. I was at school with one of the team (Neil Back - he is the one holding his little daughter when he got his medal), although he was a year below me. It must have been such a great day if you were at the match, a rugby atmosphere always seems much more friendly and, dare I say it, civilised. Anyway, enough of sport.

I had a delightful evening with the divine J last wednesday... and yes I DID behave myself! Sometimes I think I should misbehave a little but that's not my style. I mean if I really like someone I take forever to make a move and anyway, you should show a little respect for people and take time to get to know them IMHO... on the other hand, life is only, like, so long!!!! right?

Thurs and Fri I was on the telephone almost all evening. Does that happen to you guys? Sometimes you have one of those days when you speak to everyone you haven't spoken to in an age?

Tomorrow I'm off to Worcester to visit Dani, then it's down to London on wednesday for a conference. I've been asked to speak for a short while which I guess is a compliment, although I really hope my cold clears up by then!

Thanks to Laura for the comments and to the lovely Miss VV for being... lovely!

snogs

posted by Andy 13:14

Monday, November 17, 2003

I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit...

Yup, I always thought that "Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate" (Smiths-This Charming Man) was my fave first line of a song ever... until I heard 'Fourth of July' by 'Galaxie 500'. First two lines go... "I wrote a poem on a dog biscuit and your dog refused to look at it". How cool is that?

Hey! I have an invite for a meal at J's house this week :o)))))) awwwww she's so gorgeous! Nowhere I'd rather eat out! So to speak. *slaps his wrists*

So, the first day of my holiday is over and I've had soooo much fun. Uni day... all six of us were there today. We started off as 12 last year. Anyhow, today was stultifying initially and then... gasp!!!! We were given an exercise to do! Hooray! Actually it wasn't really an exercise or at least it really hadn't been thought through properly. It was supposedly based on one of the tutor's own charities so we all just played for time by grilling him about the charity's activities, lol It's his favoutite subject really, to do with an orchard. We stretched out our lunch break a little too, then the afternoon was taken up making apple-jokes, hehehehe. Terribly unbecoming behaviour for us managerial types I guess, lol. Afterwards I had to meet with one of the commissioners (weird start to a holiday I know) but it was worth it I think as the helpline should be ok financially and we might pick up some good contracts.

Thank you my friends....

Snogs 2u

posted by Andy 22:34

Thursday, November 13, 2003

Happy, Happy, Happy, All The Time! On Shock Treatment I'm Doing Fine!

Feeling unsually happy tonight! No huge, earth shattering reason, just a few little ones. Some of you may know that my service should be getting about double the funding next year, which is cool in itself. Also I spoke to the commissioners today and they seem ok with my proposal... so that's gotta be good eh? I'll be a lot happier when I have a signed document in my hand, but past experience leads me to think that at least I should have a job for another two years! yay! Apparently some folk think that part of this good fortune is down to lil' old moi, awww shucks *looks at floor and pretends to extinguish cigarette with foot*.

Also I bitched about a certain jumped up turd who was condescending towards me yesterday. About time he learnt that you can't shit on people on your way up without being shat on on your way down methinks. Not that there's anything maliscious in my complaint you understand, it's just that I have never been spoken to in that way by ANYONE in our organisation, from top to bottom (and I've met 'em both) let alone some empire-building shit-head who didn't spot the way the wid was blowing. Of course I take absolutely no pleasure in the fact that he has a redundancy notice arriving on on Jan 2 2004, mainly cuz everyone knew that job wasn't permanent! Why you think I didn't go for it? lol

BIG NEWS!!! Should be seeing the delightful J again next week, swoon *face reddens and legs jellify(?)* so I gotta sort out an activity appropriate to the occasion. :o)))))))))

btw, how the hell can spam add inches to my penis???? What sort of fetish is that????

Anyone fancy a bedtime story????

futtocknadgering: hello dear
mansuetas: so what's the newzzz???
futtocknadgering: news? me? what news?
mansuetas: O
mansuetas: hehe
futtocknadgering: I'm a tortoise!
futtocknadgering: you know? like in that story? The tortoise and the hare?
mansuetas: come on!
futtocknadgering: I go slowly but I win the race!
mansuetas: no? I only know that the tortoise goes slow....
futtocknadgering: you have not heard that story?
mansuetas: the hare? dont overrate my english!
futtocknadgering: it's like a rabbit only bigger and it runs v. fast
mansuetas: let me check!
mansuetas: that's a lepre! you should have told me before!
futtocknadgering: heheheh
futtocknadgering: anyway, do you want to hear the story?
mansuetas: anyway I havent read the story!
mansuetas: yes i do!
futtocknadgering: ok, are you sitting comfortably children?
mansuetas: yes can I sit on your knees?
futtocknadgering:
futtocknadgering: I shall begin...
futtocknadgering: once upon a time there lived a slow old tortoise and a speedy young hare
mansuetas: in England?
mansuetas: it's important to know!
futtocknadgering: shut up children! I'm telling you a story!
mansuetas:
mansuetas: hehe
mansuetas: go on
futtocknadgering: ok, sit quietly in my lap and I will continue...
futtocknadgering: always the young hare ran very fast and said nasty things to the tortoise as he ran past him...
futtocknadgering: all the tortoise could do was watch the young lepre race past him and swear at him behind his back...
futtocknadgering: one day the young hare challenged the tortoise to a race!
futtocknadgering: The hare never expected the tortoise to accept the challenge. But do you know what the tortoise said children?
mansuetas: noooo???
futtocknadgering: he said "i accept your challenge! You are a cheeky young lepre! I accept your challenge and you will see that I will beat you!"
mansuetas: and then???
futtocknadgering: well th young lepre laughed out loud! How could the slow, old wrinkled tortoise (called andy) possibly beat the fast, young hare?
mansuetas: I guess I should answer.. but I can't...
futtocknadgering: shall i continue?
mansuetas: otherwise I wont sleep!
futtocknadgering: very well, as you have been good children and have sat so quietly in my lap i shall continue....
futtocknadgering: the day of the race dawned! It was a beautiful morning. A mist lay on the ground, slowly clearing in the early morning sun....
futtocknadgering: all the animals from far and wide began to gather to watch this amazing race!
mansuetas: "you talk like a printed book"
mansuetas: hehe
mansuetas: that's italian
futtocknadgering: thankyou miss VV
mansuetas: ops sorry go on
futtocknadgering: *andy strokes young miss VV's hair before continuing*
mansuetas:
futtocknadgering: all the animals were very excited and some of them began taking bets on who would win
futtocknadgering: of course nobody would risk their money on old wrinkly andy!
futtocknadgering: how could he win?
mansuetas:
futtocknadgering: At last! Young lepre and Andy the old, tortoise arrived!
futtocknadgering: The lepre jumped up and down to show everyone how fit and healthy he was!
futtocknadgering: But slow old andy just turned his wrinkly old head and rolled his eyes, like this
mansuetas: heheh
futtocknadgering: ok children, that's enough for tonight! I will continue the story next time....
mansuetas: oh nooo! hehe
mansuetas: come on!
futtocknadgering: you are very impatient young miss VV!
mansuetas: I have to make a phone call...I can't stay long...
futtocknadgering: bouncing up and down on my legs like that!
mansuetas: but I am curious!
futtocknadgering: I will tell you about the race next time.....
mansuetas: nooooooooooooooo
futtocknadgering: it's a long story!
mansuetas:
mansuetas: i want to know!
futtocknadgering: anyway, it's the only way I can get you to sit on my lap!
futtocknadgering:
mansuetas: lol
mansuetas: please
mansuetas: go on
mansuetas: heheh
futtocknadgering: please?
mansuetas: please!
futtocknadgering: very well
futtocknadgering: Wise Mr Owl fired his pistol to start the race...
futtocknadgering: before going to his bed (Mr Owl never stays awake long during the day)
futtocknadgering: the hare ran licketty-split as fast as his legs could carry him! A big cloud of dust rose up behind him as he ran so fast!
futtocknadgering: Soon the hare had dissappeared over a nearby hill and could not be seen!
mansuetas: call animals with their name! an owl is a gufo!
mansuetas: you may go on...
futtocknadgering: But poor old andy! He had only managed to travel 5 metres!
futtocknadgering: So slowly did old, wrinkly andy travel that it seemed as if the young hare would travel right around the world and back again before andy had reached the nearest tree!
futtocknadgering: all the animals were laughing at andy and sticking out their tongues at him, like this
mansuetas:
futtocknadgering: but still andy persevered. Slowly he jogged along, centimetre by centimetre, ignoring the cruel laughter of the watching animals
mansuetas: poor Andy!
futtocknadgering: some distance ahead the young hare had decided to sit down for a rest....
futtocknadgering: the sun had risen in the sky and it was such a glorious sunny day that it made the young hare want to sit and smile and dream of miss VV, the woman of his dreams....
mansuetas: nice to know I can be a hare's dream!
futtocknadgering: lepre!
mansuetas: yes of course a lepre's dream!
futtocknadgering: and after all, what chance did old andy the tortoise have of catching him?
futtocknadgering: no, he would sit there and enjoy the warm sunshine and think sweet thoughts of a beautiful Domo woman...
mansuetas: no rhetorical questions!
futtocknadgering:
mansuetas: haha domo woman...
futtocknadgering: Meanwhile andy was still travelling slowly but surely in the sun...
mansuetas: brb
mansuetas: yes? where is Andy now?
futtocknadgering: andy did not stop but occasionally took a sip of water from his bottle as it was indeed a very hot, sunny day
futtocknadgering: wait! what is this that andy can see just around the next bend?
futtocknadgering: yes!
mansuetas: what?
futtocknadgering: it is the young lepre! he has fallen asleep in the sun and is no doubt dreaming of miss VV!
futtocknadgering: We can tell this because he has a large smile on his face
mansuetas:
futtocknadgering:
futtocknadgering: slowly (and quietly) andy carried on trotting along the road in the sun...
futtocknadgering: still at the same slow speed he had been travelling the whole time...
futtocknadgering: soon andy could only see a tiny figure in the distance behind him...
futtocknadgering: but in front! Yes! The finishing line!
futtocknadgering: But wait!
futtocknadgering: A wasp (?)
futtocknadgering: A wasp (?)
futtocknadgering: A wasp (?)
futtocknadgering: A wasp (?)
mansuetas: slow down pls!
futtocknadgering: what is a wasp?
futtocknadgering: pls
mansuetas: white anglo saxon something?
futtocknadgering: ok, suddenly a White Anglo-saxon Protestant landed on the young lepre's nose!
futtocknadgering: this caused him to awake with a start!
mansuetas: I was right ? I can't believe it!
mansuetas: a vespa!
mansuetas: tell it before!
futtocknadgering: hahah
futtocknadgering: ok
futtocknadgering: a Lambretta landed on the young lepre's nose etc etc
mansuetas: hahaha
mansuetas:
futtocknadgering:
futtocknadgering: ANYWAY!
mansuetas: a wasp is a vespa!!!!
mansuetas: you can tell by the noise!!!
futtocknadgering: I would not like a wasp between my legs!
futtocknadgering: hahahahahah
mansuetas: haha
futtocknadgering: ANYWAY!!!!!!!
futtocknadgering: the lepre awoke... AGAIN!!!!
futtocknadgering: he was annoyed that he had been woken from his lovely dream of miss VV....
futtocknadgering: especially as it was just before things got 'exciting'
mansuetas: !!!
futtocknadgering: (why does that always happen?)
futtocknadgering: slowly the young lepre realised what he was doing sitting in the sun...
futtocknadgering: he was in a race!
futtocknadgering: so he got to his feet and began to run very fast along the road...
futtocknadgering: ahead of him he could see... no! it couldn't be! But it was!
futtocknadgering: There was old andy just about to cross the finish line!
futtocknadgering: The young lepre ran just as fast as his legs would carry him but he was not fast enough!
futtocknadgering: with seconds to spare andy crossed the finish line!
futtocknadgering: he had beaten the arrogant young hare!
futtocknadgering: The End
futtocknadgering: Fin
futtocknadgering: *andy closes book*

snogs

posted by Andy 19:19

Sunday, November 09, 2003

Farting fish!

'Canadian biologists baffled by a mysterious, underwater sound think it may be herrings breaking wind. "It sounds just like a high-pitched raspberry," said Ben Wilson of the University of British Colombia'

Those crazy Canadians *rolls eyes*, just thought I'd share...

Anyone worried about their level of geekiness... here's the ultimate self test. (Mine was 5.52268% - Poser, amaingly enough)

Life's kinda zombifying once again. The calorific intake has increased a little since I've been back at work - have to watch that, it has a negative impact on the psyche don't you know? Negative self image, lethargy, guilt, all that crap, which then leads to comfort eating and the whole vicious circle thing starts up once more. I wouldn't say i was depressed, I mean I'm still on the happy pills so that's unlikely and anyway, I'm functioning pretty ok. Just that old familiar ennui setting in once more I guess. Poor self-image, lack of confidence, lack of achievement and motivation, you get the picture?

The love-life hasn't taken off but then I guess I didn't really expect it to. Maybe one day, who knows?

I'm off to hibernate....

Snogs

posted by Andy 17:01

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Things have been pretty quiet all round this week, little blogging going on anywhere! Except for Lisa that is.

Any-road-up I haven't forgotten to blog, just having one of those downtimes... give me inspiration someone?

This is, errrr... useful, I guess

snogs

posted by Andy 11:48

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Funniest thing I've heard in a while!

This morning on Britain's premier "serious" news programme Today on Radio4 there was this piece about... well.... just listen! (1mb)

I got my replacement phone today, another Nokia 5210 to replace my faulty one. As it's my work phone I get a replacement by courier in 24 hours! Cool eh? I would still prefer a 5100 though.... mmmm... sexy phone!... I can dream...

What would you have on your tombstone? I heard a couple of great ideas today:

"Not dead, just sleeping. Help!"
"Keep off the grass"
"I told you I was ill" (that was Spike Milligan's)

Any ideas you wanna share??? Feel free to comment!

Snogs

posted by Andy 19:00